The EMG file is pretty open. It gives you the basic shape and then allows you to expand upon that, add whatever details you want, etc. Its worth a try at least IMO.

I'll try the dragon file after I get the assistant one working. XD (Also after I find the accursed thing. x_X Come ooooout, dragon file.....)


Been listening to the assistant file every night and sometimes during other times of the day. Thus far, nothing I'd consider trance. I do get relaxed during the file, but... Not really any more relaxed than I am throughout the rest of the day. XD I do find myself unwilling to move my limbs, but when I get an itch or something, my hands fly to take care of it.

As with the tail and wings, I have been imaging my assistant (Hitamashii) following me about. Any time I have a small thought like "I want to listen to this certain song" or "ugh, that tv show is annoying", I attribute it to Hitamashii.
It's much harder to visualize a full life form than it is to visualize just a tail or wings, by the way. D:

I'm considering asking elsewhere on the forums exactly how everyone gets into their trances, and how it feels. Is it from focusing on the voice, or from letting your mind wander how it chooses, or just staring at something? I really have no clue how I should be going about this.

One thing I do notice during the times that I'm supposed to be in trance, however, is that I sort of rock back and forth. It's very, very minor, probably impossible to see to others. I may not even actually be rocking back and forth, and it just feels that way to me. It's fairly rapid, about two and a half rocks per second (forward, back, forward, back, forward, second's up). I'm not sure if this is even related, but it seems to only happen while listening to a file.

I just close my eyes and let myself wander. I clear my mind as well.

As for the rocking: I think DanFox said he once got similar experiences...

That rocking sensation means that you are in a trance, IIRC.

Seriously? x_X If that's the case, I guess I must be one of those people that still feel fully aware during trance. I've read that some people feel that way. I just figured it was an impatient wiggle.

Listened to the assistant file again lastnight, this time sitting upright with my legs crossed. It was somewhat late, and I think I kept falling asleep during it, but managed to stay sitting. All I know is that I only remember hearing parts of the file, rather than the whole thing as usual, and that I nearly fell off my bed (where I was sitting) a few times. No luck remember any of my dreams period since the last report I gave of that. D:

I know that more specific files supposedly work better. I'm thinking I should make a file specifically for what I want. Just need to stop putting it off and look up exactly what is needed in a file.


EDIT: Just found some subliminal message program elsewhere in the forums, as well as a text block for hypno-assistants. Trying that out as well. Considering how much time I spend on the computer, I'm hoping this will be a big help. Anyone else have success with subliminal messages?

I'm having trouble seeing Hita, I sometimes forget about her and it's a little difficult to hear her voice. D: Conversations with her seem a little forced, they're mostly conscious. I can't tell what is from my conscious and what is from my subconscious. My mean, pessimistic side says it's all conscious, but my hopeful and optimistic side (as well as Hita herself) say it's working.

There was a little get-together with my mother's and brother's friends today. I had the choice of whether or not to go. Hitamashii, being much more social than I am, urged me to go along. On the way there, Hita was singing along with the radio. I was silent, and she nudged my cheek with her head to get me to sing as well. Pretty sure I actually felt a push. I sang along as well after that, at least to the songs I knew.

At the house, there were two bags of chips, both kinds being brands that I love. I had about four plates before Hita said to stop eating so much. XD After finishing that last plate, I remembered for a little while, then got up to get some more, and "heard" a sharp NO. Didn't really hear it with my ears, more my mind, but I still attribute that to her.




I think I also need work getting her to move naturally. She stayed sitting on the back of a couch at the house for all five hours we were there. And when she grabs onto my arm to hitch a ride to anywhere, seeing her get on or off is a fairly long process. It's even worse when she's moving on her own. When it was time to go, it took her about three minutes to get from the couch to the door, and that's only a 20'-30' trip. Visualizing her is much more difficult than personal body parts, as I mentioned before. D:

It helps that she's like the bad guy from Terminator 2, able to change shape, because it'd take even longer to get anything done otherwise. ;-; We found that it's easier for her to get around if she just changes into a blob-ish snake thing to move around, then rematerializes at her destination.

Additionally, getting her to talk without conscious thought is difficult. Throughout the entire time typing this, she's only said "it's working".

Well, also "we'll get there" just a second ago. XD

I've told two non-FurMorphed about the endeavor to create Hitamashii. One is pretty skeptical about the whole thing (they've stuck with me for about 6 years now, I think this is the first time they've really thought that I might be losing my mind. XD), and the other finds it really interesting and somewhat wants to know how it all works out, but is also worried for me. Thinks it might go Spiderman 2 style with my creation controlling me.

...Granted, after being pushed to go to that get-together, sing along with the radio AND stop eating chips, he may be on to something. XD

Well, finally remembered another dream. Not a whole lot about it, but I do know it had something to do with the "The Santa Clause" movie.

I've filled my head with thoughts about Hitamashii every minute of the day for almost two weeks now. Not once in the past two months have I thought of anything pertaining to Santa Claus or Tim Al-

.....Damnit, Santa Claus made an appearance in some Diet Dr. Pepper commercial I saw. CURSE YOU ADVERTISING!

This is getting aggravating. D:

At the very least, I'm getting closer to something that feels like what might be trance when listening to the assistant file. I relax to the point of not even feeling my limbs, and though my mind still drifts about, the voice seems to echo through my head whenever I happen to focus on the actual file.

On the conscious level, I am forgetting parts of Hitamashii less often. Before, I kept forgetting the spines running down her back. That's the biggest thing I'm remembering of her lately. I still keep missing the silver patches around her eyes and on her underbelly, however.

I seem to have more conversations with her. Many of them are still forced, but some just seem to come out unintentionally. She's very sarcastic.

Additionally, she seems to be afraid of the dark. Which is weird, as I'd never made that a part of her character when I made her loooooooooooooong ago, and she is in fact supposed to be practically fearless.
I'd set something up to change that, but honestly... It's just so damn cute. XD



I set up a second set of subliminal messages to go along with creating Hitamashii.

First off, before explaining that... For about five years now, I have been consciously willing myself to treat pain as a good thing, something that makes me stronger. Not in a "character-building" way, but in a "Popeye eating spinach" way. Been doing that because of a character in a game that I started playing around then, who gained power in the same way... I am horribly impressionable at times. XD

Anyway, the message set consists of things like "pain makes me stronger", "pain makes me focus". I know some of you might get worried that I'll cause myself lasting harm with something like that, don't fret. I also have things like "I avoid injury", "I am aware of all damage to my body", and "I rest when needed".

The set seems to have begun working very quickly. I go bowling every Tuesday, and when I start doing poorly, I have teammates punch me so I do better. I've been doing that for a long while, and for that time, it was generally just a superstitious ritual kind-of-thing. Well, yesterday, I accidentally bashed my shin into the ball return.

Got three strikes in a row immediately after.

I almost got the 200 game I've been after since starting bowling, but the pain wore off partway through. ;-; 189, aaaaaargh!



Oh, one last thing. At the bowling alley, they have a DDR arcade machine. For some reason, I've been wanting to try it out a lot lately, so I finally did yesterday. Was quite fun... But when I got back to the lanes, I realized I had forgotten to take Hitamashii along. That made me feel really guilty. ;-; I'm sure she'd have loved to see it, if for nothing else than to make fun of my clumsy wobbling.

Drove across town Wednesday. I have never enjoyed driving, least of all in crowded, busy areas. Missed a few turns (or just barely made them, which I actually found to be worse than missing them), had a few tailgaters, watched numerous people who must have been out of blinker fluid. Then ended up having to go right back home since the place I was headed was closed. Hita sat in the passenger seat next to me, I think she kept me sane throughout the whole ordeal. Lots of optimism, seeing the silver lining... Which is usually my role. She tends to be the meaner of us. XD

Glad she can't be seen or heard by others, as she badmouthed my teacher a few times during a Computer Literacy class on Thursday due to mixing up words and overall being more of a hindrance than a help to most students. I'm thankful I already know the class' content.

Went on a marathon shopping trip later on Thursday, to get food and such. Hita seemed to become a lot more childish during this time. (In a "playfulness" way, not in attitude.) She flew around a lot, climbed on all the shelves, jumped from aisle to aisle, etc. It was a good distraction from the boring job of determining whether a small bottle of ketchup or a large one would be a better deal. XD She didn't talk much during this.

Hitamashii is avoiding physical interaction with other people or objects like the plague. I think it's to ignore her lack of physical substance. D: She'll perch on things, but not much else. Not really worried about this, though, as it's relatively early in the entire hypnosis process.


One thing IS worrying me, however... She seems to become very, very jealous whenever I interact with one of my dogs. Only the female one, though, nothing when I interact with the male one. And this is wish-for-pain jealousy. I've been trying to talk with her on the subject, but she seems to ignore what I have to say, or she says "okay" and then immediately goes back to being a little terror about it. I have put "Hitamashii likes Topaz" (the dog's name) in the Subliminal Blaster message set in the hopes that this problem can be fixed. I'm not sure if it will actually make much of a difference, though, as Hita is damn stubborn.



I read the journals of a few other people that have tried for companions. Most of them end up speaking for both themselves and their companion, with the companion's name in a different color. I've suggested this to Hita, but always get an answer basically saying "no, that's stupid/silly". However... The answer seems to be with both Hitamashii's voice and my own. I think my own mind is trying to push against it. I guess it's thinking "that's too far". D:

Though, to be honest, Hitamashii can be pretty rude at times... I suppose I can sift through what she wants said to make sure my posts are kind, or I could reword it to get the basic point across without being mean, but that seems to defeat the purpose a little bit.

She also stops talking whenever I'm writing these posts. As she's never actually spoken to someone's face before (or through me, to their face), she may be courteous when actually holding a conversation with someone, and I just don't know it yet. If she were talking while I was writing these, I'm pretty sure she'd have something to say about me calling her rude, and a little terror. XD


AHA, finally. Just a small reply, but a reply nonetheless. She said "I do."



I am also feeling a small tug at the back of my mind saying "you're being ridiculous". This is distinctly non-Hitamashii, I can tell it's my own mind trying to stop me from continuing. I can see where it's coming from, of course... I am basically having a conversation with myself, and that part of me is the only part that sees this as a little bit strange/crazy.

I revealed this project to my brother lastnight. He raised an eyebrow and shook his head a little bit, but didn't express any large concern or disbelief at first...
Until I told him that Hita is afraid of the dark.
That's about the point where he snorted, turned around, and left the room.

It made me sad. ;-; I wonder if that's why my mind has chosen now to start saying that I'm being ridiculous.




EDIT: Forgot to mention, Hita changed her own design recently. She gave herself a back toe for more talon-like feet (something we both agreed on immediately), and she made her wings much different, more like arms coming out of her back a little closer to the neck than before, which have two fingers and expand into her wings. This one took a slight bit of convincing, but she got me with how pretty they are now. XD Silver rectangles with a clear, shining ruby red in the center. When the wings expand, the ruby thins out into the same orange membrane as the wings in her previous design.

I can actually say that the character of Hitamashii "made herself".

No interesting progress today like I've been writing before. ;-;

Hita and I are considering (with much reluctance on her part) that we put off actual visualization for now. I still can't actually see her, it's more just knowing where she is and what kind of position she's in. The problem is, it takes a good deal of attention to make this work, which distracts me from other things. In addition, it takes a long time for her to move about. In to/out of cars, onto my arm, etc. We're both a little upset that she seems a lot like a simple bird, perching on my arm half the time. She'd much prefer to fly, but I just can't seem to get that visualized well enough to have it at all times. It worked on the shopping trip because of the wide open space.
I suggested perhaps waiting until I can finally get her into my dreams, but there is concern that stopping the current visualization would be a step back.



I thought about Hita's dislike for the dog, and thought it might be the fact that I am able to physically interact with the dog and not Hita. I do tend to play with the female dog more often than the male one, simply because the male dog is a lazy bum. When asking Hita if this is the case, I can very, VERY faintly hear affirmations of that conclusion. I mean, so faint I'm not even sure there is actually a reply. When I focus really hard on visualizing her and ask her the question, she seems to avoid eye contact. I figure that's as close to a "yes" as I can get without her outright confirming it.

Remembered a dream.

This time, I was fighting against Tiger Woods in some sort of game, and the prize was to improve a college of my choice. The game was to hold 3 circular wooden chips with some design on them that I never really looked at, while hurling giant slices of pepperoni at the other player in an attempt to make them stick. When enough of them would stick, the person would explode. Fire explosion, not gooey person explosion. I won every round, largely in part to having a force field I could activate temporarily.
I'm not sure if the force field was cheating, but since I was never called on it, I think maybe I should contact Tiger Woods about this and see if he'll fund the improvement of whatever college I want as was the original plan. It's only fair.


When I woke up, I was still groggy, and said exactly this to Hita: "You weren't in the dream. Try to muscle your way in, uh... Topaz. No, uh... Hita."
She was unhappy about being called Topaz.

But she seemed less angry about it than I'd have expect given her previous behavior, so I think that Subliminal Blaster line is helping.



I tried Just Another Fox's lucid dreaming technique awhile back with no success. D: I'll probably give it another shot later. For now, I have activated the "Control Your Dreams" message set in Subliminal Blaster to go along with the Hitamashii and Sacrier sets. Hopefully it helps. I actually activated it lastnight, prior to having the pepperoni-hurling-explosion game dream. It's either coincidence, or the subliminals started working very fast.

Been trying to get Hita to say something that I could write into this post throughout the entire process of writing it, to no avail. D:

Hita wasn't very active for the first portion of the day (and she finally has something to say in the topic. "He forgot to take me to watch him play DDR again."), but she sprung into action when we went to a store after going bowling. I accidentally bumped her into racks and boxes about a dozen times as she held onto my, er... I've yet to learn the name for the part. Not the forearm, not the shoulder. The part of the arm in-between. Bicep?

Anyway, she was pretty annoyed with that, but patient enough to not bite me. I eventually got it down about halfway through the store, though I did still scrape a few times afterwards. Those just got dirty looks and snorts. (Note that I still cannot really see her. I just know what she is doing and where she SHOULD be.)

She has been getting better about sharing space with my baby brother when I pick him up. I haven't actually said anything about that in this journal prior to this point, but basically, she holds onto my not-forearm on one side and puts her wings across my chest and back to hold onto my other not-forearm. When I pick my brother up, he presses against her wing.

She has also been doing better with the dog. No more hatred, not much dislike. More of an annoyed indifference.

Her fear of the dark has been dwindling as I repeatedly forget to take her out of my room when I leave. The mental transmission I hear from her upon noticing that she is in my dark room has gone from "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" to "you left me here AGAIN."

I have recently thought that I should set up a command system for my brain like navigating a computer, which would hopefully allow me to utilize hypnosis by building "programs" for my mind to run. This is to go along with the programming induction that I've still yet to record due to never having a moment free in the house without my highly cynical family around. (Granted, I'm pretty cynical too; just not towards certain things, such as hypnosis. XD)

I have begun consciously conditioning my mind for this project, with Hitamashii's help. She has agreed to be a program for my braincomputer so long as I don't keep her closed for extended periods of time, which I hadn't planned to do anyway. I have yet to close her program since starting this project, though we have experimented with minimizing/restoring and setting her position (teleporting her, basically). I have also successfully used it to open and close the tail and wing "files", which allows me to stop them when I need to sleep or sit. Though only mentioned a few times through this journal, most anything involving my backside has been fairly unpleasant.

In a non-sexual way, of course.

Other things I have attempted to do thus far with the braincomputer have been...

 - Setting up a "targeting display". I used this for a few minutes at the start of bowling. I was seeing faint marks of where I should stand, aim, release the ball, etc. Unfortunately, my actual body movement clearly hasn't been calibrated for this, and I ended up missing more often than hitting simply because it distracted me. I named the file "targeting.hud" in my mind, and have placed it in the I:/Display directory. I will go back to it with actual hypnosis/subconscious reprogramming at a later time to give it access and commands for my body movements as well. May need to make two files, since .hud was planned to be solely visual.

 - Quickly (and consciously, like all the other mindfiles so far) programmed a "bowling.exe" program with much more success for bowling well than the targeting display. I was able to "save" my approach and aim to recreate it at later throws. While this wasn't perfect, it did help me to get strikes more often. There was nothing in place for picking up the pins on the second throw, so I was still on my own for spares. My average is 135, and I got a 170 and 155 today. (Which is great, I love multiples of 5.)

 - Set up an information display. I was seeing faint boxes form around important objects which, when focused on, provided me with a very small amount of information about each object collected from memory. Unfortunately, most objects just came up with "???". I may need to enter information manually. I'm sure this will be difficult to get functioning at the level I want, but considering my incompetence with remembering names and locations, it is desperately needed.

 - Sleeping. It took me awhile to decide on how I should execute the command without closing Hitamashii(.hcf now!), but when I finally found a way to do it, speaking the command did indeed make my limbs seem to fall asleep. Not fully, I could still shift about, but they were definitely relaxed, somewhat like what I feel during (what I believe to be) trance. My mind, however, continued clutching to consciousness.


I have thus far set my braincomputer to respond only to spoken commands from myself, as I don't want others having control if they somehow find what commands I have set, and I often think commands and don't want them taking place willy-nilly.
My personality will not take a hit from this. I have saved my normal mindset as "default.mnd", and set my mind to go back to this whenever I sleep. Future .mnd files will use default as a base with just minor alterations that I will have full control over.

I'm not sure how this started working so quickly, to be honest. I guess it helps that I think of myself (and other people) to be a sort of highly-complex "biomachine" in the first place. <.<

Future uses that I'm hoping for are...

 - Most of the ideas from the Heads up display topic.

 - An assortment of .prt and .skn files for transformations.

 - Possibly some more .hcf's (helpful companion file), though none as generalized as Hitamashii. They'd likely be for specific tasks, such as schoolwork and the like. I could probably just code that kind of functionality into Hita anyway, so I'm not really sure multiple .hcf's are necessary. Could I even run more than one at a time...? Probably not safely.

 - Resource manager to take resources from certain bodily functions and give them to other functions temporarily. With a default set saved, of course. I see things about people who are able to increase their sense of sight by rerouting power from some other sense, so I figure... Why not try as well?


S'yeah, hoping I can get somewhere with that.


....Am I crazy?




EDIT: Changed the topic title to reflect this new project. XD

I like the idea how your making everything sound more like a computer, plus Hita is a very cute name. The only problem of having mindfiles open all the time is that if you have too many, you could get a headache, so be careful of that.

Hita is a very cute name.

I don't know how to respond to that.

XD

My intention was to program the mindfiles and keep them stored in whatever directory I choose. I could then open them as I need each specific one. So just as a computer keeps files stored on a hard drive and loads the ones that are in use into its RAM, I hope to do the same with this whole Braincomputer thing. Hopefully I can truly deactivate mindfiles that I am not currently using.

Went across town to some little workshop-class thingamabob. Was getting very anxious as I drove there. Lots of missed or early turns, tailgaters, speeders, signal-less lane changers, etc. My heart was pounding and my stomach felt bad. Hita kept calming me down only for a new problem to spring up. Finally, once I got to a nice, calm straightaway, I decided to give the Braincomputer thing a chance despite still having not done hypnosis for it. I first thought of the biological reason for the existence of stress (coming up with the reasons for things in that manner for some reason helps me to deal with them, as though I am reassuring myself that it is an intended part of my "programming".) I thought for a moment on how to word it, then stated aloud "input command, access "processes", pause process "stress.exe", end command".

It worked. x_X Though I was still sharing the road with a variety of lunatics and missing quite a few turns (I couldn't do anything about my confusion. Confusion seems more like a conflict of codes than something that the mind experiences for its own benefit. ;-; ), my heart rate and stomach stayed as they were when I said the command. I'm guessing that the stress.exe process actually just stores the ever-changing "value" of stress, and then sends that elsewhere to have the stress actually felt. I'll have to explore later to figure that out. So pausing it just froze the value at the relatively calm state it was at when I said the command.

I resumed the process upon getting to my destination, paused it again when I left, and resumed once more upon arriving home. Do not want to leave that paused, I think stress is important to allow humans to function. D:


Not much else happened throughout the day as far as the hypnosis projects go.


I am slightly worried about the stress.exe-pausing working as well as it did. I haven't done hypnosis for it yet, and haven't even set up a subliminal message set. Willingly forcing my mind to see itself as a computer seems crazy enough, but doing it without the outside assistance of any subconscious-accessing techniques is really making me wonder if I belong in a nuthouse. x_X