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Amaroq Starwind

Corrupt-a-Wish Foundation: Be Careful What You Wish For

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Granted, but you can only listen to everyone all at once all the time, and you can't turn it off or drown it out... good luck being insane.

 

I wish werewolves were a real thing, except the person-eating thing.

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Choose your own corruption!

#1 - Wish granted. Now the whole universe is a giant paradox, but given that the whole universe hates paradoxes, it decides to delete itself.

#2 - Wish granted, but you are living in a giant quantum computer, and those things are expensive to keep running.

#3 - Wish granted. Welcome to the never ending confusion that is metaphysics.

#4 - Any combination of the above.

I wish that I couldn't be distracted. By anything.

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Wish granted, but you can only focus on one thing at a tme. If you stop focusing on you're breathing, you will stop breathing and die.

 

I wish I wouldn't be late to work anymore.

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Granted, but you discover that they are most effectively used in MMORPGs. You're doomed to raid endlessly, unable to leave your PC and eventually becoming a zombie.

 

I wish I could calm down.

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Wish granted. You become so calm that somebody successfully hypnotized you to walk off of a cliff.

I wish somebody could create a free, non-proprietary lossless video codec that was smaller than a single PNG image (sound included).

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Granted, everyone dies and neither bad nor good things happen from now on until the big rip which leads to the ultimate heat death of this universe.

 

I wish I knew how to wish for something so that the wish couldn't be corrupted.

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Granted..... Stories and "tales" will be told of your wishing for years to come!

I wish.... Uh.... A sandwich I guess. A sandwich would be nice

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Granted but unfortunately you now fail at geometry and all other math and are unable to graduate.

 

I wish for a wish after this one and for a good, competent, honest lawyer to help me write it. The lawyer may even come from fiction if other people believe there is no such thing as an honest lawyer (which is completely untrue. Honest lawyers exist and can be good lawyers).

Edited by tzeneth

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Wish granted. Unfortunately, your lawyer (while honest about it) is already trying to help a guy with his drug dealing operation and you get caught in the crossfire.

 

I wish I knew how to make coffee that didn't taste horrible.

Edited by Amaroq Dricaldari

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Granted, but now the only thing that you can make is coffee, you somehow manage to burn everything else, even if you're just pouring a glass of milk.

 

I wish real life had background music.

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Granted, but unfortunately the mages cast a dangerous spell, summon Cthulhu and all of Earth is eaten up.

 

I wish I could live long enough learn everything without suffering the effects of age, disease, crippling, or ending up in any situation people would describe as "worse than death."

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Granted, but by the time you learn even a tenth of everything, you get bored and wander off. Had you stayed on task, you certainly would have lived long enough, but after a while, the knowledge just got boring.

 

I wish Greco-Roman gods, Norse gods, Egyptian gods, and so on all existed and I was related to one god from each group in some manner.

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Wish granted. You are the unlikeable and unintelligent older sibling who likes to break everything. And to cook.

I wish for a universe where the second law of thermodynamics does not apply.

Edited by Amaroq Dricaldari

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Granted, but physics falls apart without it in that universe, and people are never really a thing there either.

 

I wish for a transmogrifyer (spelling?).

Edited by WaffleFox

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Granted, but you accidentally get turned into a bowl of chowder.

 

I wish the next person's wish would not be corrupted.

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Granted, somewhere in the world, someone made a wish. It wasn't corrupted.

 

I wish...

[CINDERELLA]

More than anything... More than life... More than jewels...

[JACK]

I wish... More than life...

[CINDERELLA & BAKER]

I wish...

[JACK]

More than anything...

[CINDERELLA, BAKER & JACK]

More than the moon...

[bAKER'S WIFE]

I wish...

[CINDERELLA]

The King is giving a Festival.

[bAKER & WIFE]

More than life...

[JACK]

I wish...

[CINDERELLA]

I wish to go to the Festival.

[bAKER & WIFE]

More than riches...

[CINDERELLA]

and the ball...

[JACK]

I wish my cow would

give us some milk. 

[CINDERELLA & BAKER'S WIFE]

More than anything...

[bAKER]

I wish we had a child. 

[JACK]

Please, pal- 

[bAKER'S WIFE]

I want a child... 

[JACK]

Squeeze, pal... 

[CINDERELLA]

I wish to go to the Festival.

[JACK]

I wish you'd give us some

milk or even some cheese...

I wish...

[bAKER & WIFE]

I wish we might have a child.

I wish...

Edited by Kiniest

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Wish granted. You go to a festival where you get a child made out of cheese that bleeds milk.

I wish the following would all go extinct:

- Bed Bugs

- Head lice

- Fleas

- Tics

- Chiggers

- Mosquitos

- Dust mites

- Politicians

Edited by Amaroq Dricaldari

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Granted.

 

Pick one of two:

1) However, the government, which regulates this new, magical, extermination list, also includes furries.

2) The world exploded. Everything went extinct, including those aforementioned things.

 

I wish Hunter x Hunter's new anime was localized and released on blu-ray in the west coast.

Edited by Kiniest

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